Fourth Birthdays

Today I am sentimental. And Grateful. And Oriented.

My mom and I were commenting that just four years ago, we hoped…even predicted the conversation that we had today. To remind you of the circumstances surrounding the original conversation- I had just come to the end of seven months of being large-and-in-charge of my twin pregnancy.

Actually, I only thought I was in charge. One day I was told over a sonogram that my pregnancy “couldn’t be going any better”. Forty-eight hours later, I was told that my babies and I could die if we didn’t have an emergency c-section. I had HELLP syndrome and the only cure was delivery of my baby girls. I cannot express the fear and trepidation that overcame me. I thought I had lost control. Because of my experience working in a NICU, I thought they would probably survive, but I didn’t know if the dreams that I had for them would. I was disoriented.

The conversation that my mom and I had that week was something like this, “If we could just fast forward to the future, we will one day say, ‘What were we so worried about? They will be loved and happy children. And we will KNOW that it will be OK.’ ”  Those days surrounding their birth we only dared hope. But we were right- now we KNOW.

We KNOW that we are celebrating their 4th Birthday! We know that my dreams for their first four years have been exceeded. God has given to us abundantly above all that we asked.

Hoping is not the same as knowing. Sometimes you have to experience something to know it. Once we know, the worry is gone. The dismay is a memory. There is a shift from aimless disorientation to accurate orientation.

After the shock of the change in “my plans”, I slowly moved from being disoriented to God oriented.   We are “intellectually, emotionally, or functionally directed” (Merriam-Webster definition of oriented) on the love of Christ once we KNOW His love. We might have seasons of disorientation, but we shift back.

And yet, I continue to ask for more. – That my children will one day KNOW the love of Christ.
Please allow me to share my prayer for my children. In fact, let’s pray for our children together. “Lord, please bless our children. Protect their minds, bodies, and spirits. May they KNOW and love you at a young age. May they walk with You all the days of their life. Amen.”

Ephesians 3: 17 That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; 19 And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fullness of God. 20 Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, 21 Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.


One Response to “Fourth Birthdays”

  1. momma of 3 boys Says:

    Thanks for sharing and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

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